I Do

 All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

~Section 1 of the 14th Amendment

 

I Do. Two simple words that somehow hold so much meaning. I Do... I was lucky enough to say these words a little over four years ago, and with these two words my life was forever changed for the better. Those two words carried within them all my emotions towards my wife, the joy that we had shared, and the promise to share so much more in the years ahead. Before that moment I had no idea how powerful those two words were, and today I was shown once again their importance. This morning I was lucky enough to be able to go down to the Salt Lake County Clerks Office and witness my childhood friend finally be able to say these two words with the man he loves, and to finally be able to call him his legal husband. I was lucky enough to see the joy in his eyes when he said those words, to see that moment when he finally got to understand just how important those words are.

 

My friends were the 123rd couple that got married this morning, and as I stood there waiting for there turn I was able to witness (and in some cases be the actual witness) the joy and happiness of 122 other couples, who before today were strangers to me, and now they are all my friends. They have to be friends now, what else could they be? For as I shared in the moment where their lives changed for the better, mine changed as well. I watched some couples who were young and just starting their adventures together, and I saw some who had spend a lifetime loving each other without being able to have it recognized. With each kiss the crowds cheered and tears flowed from happy eyes, and within me the belief that this was the right thing was reinforced.

 

I was there for three hours, and for those three hours I saw nothing but the best from people, from ministers who came down to help marry couples free of charge, to people who brought in donuts and juice for those who were waiting for loved ones, strangers wishing each other congratulations and wishes of good luck. For three hours I surrounded myself with this, listened to sighs of relief and murmurs of  I love you . Watched kisses of the newly married couples, hugs from friends and families, and tears of joy. I watched pure joy and love for three hours, how can that be a bad thing? How can any of that have a negative impact on the relationship I have with my wife?

 

It can't. It won't. It hasn't.

 

Find love in your world and embrace it. You will find yourself a better person because of it.

 

Troy Mangum



Over the Rainbow

Life is eternal, and love is immortal,
and death is only a horizon;
and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
~Rossiter Worthington Raymond

 

 

Today is a  sad day, or maybe it's a happy day or maybe it's both. Like so many things in life, it depends on which way you are looking and which truth you see. From where I stand it seems to be a day that is mixed with both happiness and sadness. I don't like these sort of days, they make me want to sit down and in my best Winnie the Pooh voice let out a heartfelt "Oh Bother". I don't like these sort of days but I am glad for them, glad because they make me take a step back and view the world from a different angle then the one I try and use so often. I try and fill my life up with happiness, laugh at the world, and relish in the small victories, but sometimes we need some sadness in our lives, it makes the good times that much better.

 

Today I unexpectedly lost someone important in my life, and my world is a little darker from her passing. I have grieved and cried, laughed and hugged, I think I have crammed in every emotion there is this morning. All that is left to do is say goodbye.

 

Farewell: a simple word that holds so much meaning, I didn't get a chance to say the farewell that I wanted to say to you, I don't know if anyone ever does, we always think we have more time than we actually do. I didn't get to hug you and tell you that I loved you, I didn't get to tell you that everything would be all right. I didn't get to tell you that I would look after those you were leaving behind, I didn't get a chance to tell you to give grandpa a hug from me. I didn't get to say those things to you before you passed beyond my sight, and that saddens me, but I am comforted in the knowledge that I didn't really need to say those things, because you already knew them. I did say goodbye to you, because goodbye is said by the living to the living. We say it every second of every day, we say it in our actions, and in our words, in our thoughts and in our dreams. I know in my heart you knew the love we have for you, and I know that you were not worried about those you were leaving behind because you knew that others would be there to comfort them. I know you didn't need me to tell you to give your husband a hug, I know in my heart and soul that the hug you two shared after four years apart encompassed more love than I can imagine.

 

I know you are in a better place, I know that you are happy, and that knowledge helps make the sadness in my heart a little less. I know you had to go, and I am grateful that I got to have you in my life for as long as I did. You will live on in my heart, and in the hearts of all those who loved you, every time we tell a story of you, or simply sit back and share a memory, you will walk with us again. You will live on in the teachings of love and kindness that you gave to so many people. You are gone but not gone. Here and there. Lost and found. I can not see you, but I know you are there. You are just somewhere over the rainbow, and while I can't go there yet, I know you will be waiting for me to join you one day.

 

Farewell LaPreal, but not Goodbye.

 

Love

 

Troy

The urgency of the moment

"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

 

~Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

 

Fifty years ago today these words were spoken by a great man. A man who was willing to stand up for what he believed in, someone who was willing to fight for what he knew to be right in his heart and in his soul. The true greatness of this man was not in his words, or even in his actions, no, the true greatness was in the perceived lack of action. He fought not with bat or bullet. Nor with fist, or fire. He fought with a mirror, a mirror that he used to reflect the images of hate and inequality back to others in a way that stripped down all the stereotypes and fears. His use of passive non violence showed himself and his followers not as a group of attackers trying to rob others of what they already had, but as victims, who were just trying to claim what was rightfully theirs. He was able to strip away the fear and the hatred that so many wore around them like armor, he showed them that there was far more that made them similar then there would ever be that made them different. Without this fear America was able to take a step towards fulfilling our creed. We took a step that day, but sadly fifty years later there are still more steps we need to take.

 

We have taken strides towards equality but we as a society have become complacent. A cloak of apathy now surrounds us. We care more about who is playing a superhero, or what a former child star did on stage then we do about the inequality we see around us. Far too often we say things are "good enough" we look at others who are still fighting for the cause as opportunists who are trying to make up stories for their own benefit and profit. We look at the President and say "See! He is African American, that proves that racism is dead." without taking the time to really look to see if racism is truly dead.

 

Racism isn't dead so long as African American's are given less opportunities for promotions and raises at jobs. Racism isn't dead so long as minorities are stopped and searched by police, followed and shot by strangers because they "looked suspicious". Racism isn't dead as long as people are adamant about building a giant fence across Mexico to keep out illegal immigrants. Racism isn't dead, we just need to acknowledge it when we see it. Stop sweeping it under the rug. Don't let others get away with it, call people on it. Hold up the mirror and show them how truly ugly these thoughts and  actions are. Strip away the fear and hate, and help them take a step towards equality. 

 

All men are created equal... An incredible thought and a worthy goal. A world with equals, that is a world I want to live in. A world where people aren't afraid to be different. A world where people don't have to hide who they are, or who they love. A world where people don't consider suicide as a better alternative then living as a gay man or woman. A world where finding out that someone feels like they were born the wrong sex is met with understanding and kindness and not met with scorn and jokes at their expense on the internet. A world of tolerance... What a world that would be.

 

I think we have come a long way in fifty years, we have done more in the pursuit of equality after this speech  then in the 187 years of our nations history before it. I am not here to bash America, or to diminish what we have achieved but I have come to shine a mirror. To reflect back to others the view of those that are still fighting for what was promised to them at the signing of the Declaration of Independence. I know my words will never reach as many as Dr. King's and I am ok with that. I don't have to touch millions, I just have to touch one. If one person takes a second look at the world around them, I have achieved my goal, if one person struggling to find acceptance reads my words and is given new strength knowing that others fight for them, I will have achieved my goal. I seek to shake off the cloak of apathy, to focus on the urgency of the moment, for that is all we truly have, one moment, the here and the now. We can learn from the past but can't change it. We plan for the future but can't predict it. We have one moment to change the world. One chance to create a world of Hope. That is the world I want to live in. That is the world I will work for in every moment I have left. I might never see this world, but I will make sure that my children will live in a world that is at least a little closer to the world I see each night in my dreams.

 

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.

 

 

Troy Mangum



=

When the Sun rises,

It rises for Everyone.

 

= This is what I have fought for, this is what I will continue to fight for. The right to be equal. The right to be who you are. The right to not be bullied, or attacked. The right to not be afraid.

 

Yesterday the Supreme Court of the United States struck down the Defense of Marriage Act, labeling it unconstitutional under the Fifth Amendment which guarantees citizens protection from being deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process. Liberty... that which we fought so hard to gain at our nation's birth still eludes some of us today, but thankfully we took a step forward yesterday. The Supreme Court ruled that we cannot discriminate against a group of citizens without giving them their due process, and in so doing opened up the door to marriage for Gays and Lesbians all over this great nation.

= We are not there yet, I know that, but for the first time I can honestly say it will happen in my lifetime, and for that I rejoice. I have championed the cause of Gay rights my entire adult life, not because I knew people who were Gay or Lesbian, but because I knew what was right. This fight hasn't been an easy one, I have been called names by intolerant people, I have lost friends who couldn't look beyond themselves long enough to see the suffering in others. I am often asked why I fight so passionately for rights that do not affect me. For as a straight white man why would I care about Gay rights? Or minority rights? Or women's rights? Why fight if I already have the rights what benefit do I gain? My reply is simple, I do benefit. I benefit in a world where I won't have to explain to my children why some people are treated differently because they love someone. I benefit in a world free of intolerance and bigotry. I benefit in a world where children don't commit suicide because they are different. I benefit, and so does the world as a whole.

To those out there who read this and disagree with my views or disagree with the ruling by the Supreme Court I ask one simple question... Why? Why are you opposed to allowing others the right to show their love through marriage? How does that affect you at all? I have been married for almost four years, and my marriage is just as strong today as it was last week. This ruling didn't change anything for me, it didn't decrease the importance of my marriage or what makes it special. All this ruling did was pave the way for some of my friends and family to share in the joy of marriage no matter who they fall in love with. To you who still disagree I simply say this: Spend more time being with the people that you love, and spend less time worrying about who everyone else loves. Do this and we will all take a step closer to being =

Troy Mangum

 

Father's Day

I think being a good father is the best compliment you could give to any man—and not just those who are in the process of raising kids. There are all kinds of different versions of family and fatherhood, and the love, patience and kindness that merit a good dad should be celebrated in all its different forms. Some of us are fathers to plants and animals that need us. Some of us are working with kids who have never had a chance at a life before. Some of us are watching members of our adopted families grow up, and some are just watching out for the babies that are one step away from toppling off a chair.

Whatever kind of father you are, whether you're following your own dad's example or trying to be a better man than he was, thank you. Happy Father's Day.

-Amanda

Clouds

"I want everyone to know:

You don't have to find out you're dying

to start living."

~Zach Sobiech

Today the world is a little worse off, for today Zach passed away. For those who don't know Zack was 14 when he was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, a type of bone cancer he spent years having treatments and surgeries trying to prolong the inevitable, but last May at the age of 17 doctors told him there were no more effective treatments left. It is how he dealt with that news that has inspired me.

 "You know most people live kind of in the middle, in between 'all your dreams come true' and 'you're dying,' and it's a very comfortable place to live. I'm living on the two extreme ends, so you have really, really good days and you have really, really bad days." Those were the words of a 17 year old who knew his days were numbered, and yet chose to make sure that he crammed as much happiness as he could into each moment that he was allowed to be here. He turned to music as a way to live on after his death, he wrote the song "Clouds" as a way to say goodbye, if you haven't seen it yet do yourself a favor and go watch it his words are much more powerful than mine.

He chose to be happy despite the tragic events of his life. How many of us would have done the same? How many of us would have instead cursed God, or fate, or luck? How many of us would have stayed in that dark and lonely hole that Zach found himself in at the beginning of his last journey? Zach was able to climb up, up, up, he somehow found his way through all the pain, and the tears and found his way to the clouds. He found his way but he didn't do it alone. He had help, friends, family, complete strangers on the internet helped him on this journey. So tonight as I sit here and feel the loss of a man I never met, I will let his spirit know that I am a better person because he was on this earth. To those who find themselves in that dark and lonely hole I ask that you let me know. I will bring the rope and help you climb up.

You don't have to find out you're dying to start living... Thank you Zach.

Troy

Love thy enemy

"The practice of forgiveness is our most important

contribution to the healing of the world"

~Marianne Williamson

 

Today's post may be controversial to some, but I felt it was a risk I was willing to take, for this story truly moved me.

 

Paul Douglas Keane is my newest hero. A 68 year old retired school teacher who I have never met has restored my faith in humanity in a time when I desperately needed it. This man has come forward and offered to donate one of his burial plots to the family of Boston Marathon bomber Tamerlan Tsarnaev. For three weeks the body of Tamerlan Tsarnaev has yet to be buried, as Worchester funeral director Peter Stefan has been unsuccessfully searching for a cemetery that will accept the body. Paul Keane has no connection to the Tsarnaev family, in fact two of his friends were standing within 50 feet from the bomb when it went off. He is not trying to minimize the horror and grief of the victims of the terrorist attack, he simply feels that Christianity should put its money where its mouth is. Paul Keane has stepped up and offered his plot with one condition, that he does it in the memory of his mother who taught Sunday school for forty years and taught him to love thine enemy. "Love thy enemy. That's what my mother would have done and that's what I'm doing," Keane said. "Christianity is supposed to be the religion of forgiveness. Well, lets start here."

 

Love thy enemy... what a concept. What a way to live your life. What would the world be like if we could take a page from Mr. Keane's philosophy. I think it would be a much better world. To look past the anger and grief we feel, to look past the horrible acts that others commit against us, and forgive them. To simply let go, let go of hate, of fear, of anger, to let go and grab hold. Grab hold of forgiveness, grab hold of love, grab hold of hope. For when we do this, when we turn the other cheek, when we find it within ourselves to forgive others and offer to help them...That is what I would truly call Godly. I don't know if I would have the courage to do what Mr. Keane did, to face the backlash that his act of generosity will cause him, to face the scorn, the ridicule, and the hate that others are already sending his way. This man faces all of this with three simple words taught to him by his mother, Love Thy Enemy.

 

Mr. Keane, we have never met, and we probably never will, but I want you to know that your gesture has inspired me. You have made me see the best in people, and made me see the person I want to be. Someone who does what he knows is right no matter what others may think or say. So to you I say thank you. Thank you for showing me that it doesn't matter what other people do to you, it is instead what you do for others that truly matters.

 

Troy