Man Vs. Moment

Is it possible to separate the man from the moment, or are they forever linked and inseparable? That is the question that has been going through my head the last few days. A few months ago Lance Armstrong admitted to using performance enhancing drugs while winning the Tour De France, this week Oscar Pistorius stands trial, accused of murdering his girlfriend. I rooted for these men to succeed, I was inspired by the obstacles they had overcome, and now I have to decide if that inspiration is tainted.

I have never cared about cycling, I don't even know how to ride a bike, so why would I want to watch hundreds of men peddle through the south of France? Lance Armstrong was why, I watched his story of overcoming testicular cancer that had spread to his brain and to his lungs. He was told by doctors that he had less than a 40% chance of survival, and yet he not only survived, he became a champion and started a foundation for others who fought cancer, how could I not have rooted for him?

Oscar Pistorius was born without a fibula in both legs, and at just 11 months old he had his legs amputated. That didn't stop him, he wanted to run, and with the help of prosthetics did just that, running so fast he won multiple medals at the paralympic games. Still he wanted more, he wanted to run against able bodied men, to compete against the very best. At first he was told no, told that a man without legs somehow had an advantage over a man blessed with two, but he fought on and in 2012 competed in the London Games as a representative of South Africa. He made it to the semi finals of the 400 meter before finishing last in his heat, but he finished. A man born without fibulas crossed the finish line in the Olympics. How could I have not rooted for him?

Scandal has now engulfed both of these men, but does it have to engulf me and my memories as well? My answer to this is no. This is the story of my life, and those moments aren't about them, but about how they changed me. I can take that moment and feeling of inspiration it gave me and use it whenever I need to. That moment and this moment are not linked by chains, but by simple string, string that I can cut at my choosing. Their future failures (alleged and admitted) can not take away from me. Those men are human, they can fail, be corrupted, or change... but those moments can not be changed for they are perfect. I am a better man for those moments, and nothing those men do, now or in the future, will change that simple truth. 

The ways we judge

There’s a boy at my school named Eli. He’s quiet and tall with bad asthma and a terrible stutter, and one of the first things he said to me was “The EpiPen is in the front pocket of my bag.” I’m not an easy person to make friends with, but we wound up eating lunch together every day and searching for two empty seats in our classes. A few weeks ago I told him something that I don’t trust everybody with, because I thought he deserved to know before our relationship went any farther. He hasn’t been able to look me in the eyes ever since.

At first I soothed the pain by laughing about it, and then by thinking up all the horrible things I would say to him if he ever tried to be my friend again. I wanted to tell him where to cram all his condescending pity, that stupid, bigoted, chauvinistic jerk!

And then I realized that all of that was exactly what I didn’t like in him—exactly what he’d done to me to hurt me in the first place. He had judged me, branded me, put his labels ahead of whatever friendship we might’ve had. It would be useless to retaliate by doing the same thing.

So today I wrapped the birthday present I’d bought him back before all this happened, two grass-colored notebooks with a sticky-note stashed inside that says "Because you told me your favorite color is green.”

Because you used to be my friend.

Because you made me smile when I was sad.

Because I cared for you once, and because I don't believe there's any such thing as falling out of love.

Because you brought me hope, and laughter, and frustration, and tears.

Because you are human, and I am human, and that is enough.


-Amanda

 

Expedition

I’ve been looking forward to a school snowshoeing expedition for the last couple weeks that would fall on my half birthday—a day off from school to get fresh air and play in the snow, and a way to mark the fact that in six months I will be eighteen.

But by the time our group rounded off the second mile, I was exhausted and cold, the two-pound metal shoes causing my feet to sink through the snow instead of walking on top of it.  I was barely keeping up at the back of the line when Mrs. Cavalero told us all to turn around and head back to the picnic area we’d passed an hour before, and as I hurried after the other kids I tripped and fell face-first into the snow.

One thing they don’t tell you about snowshoeing is that you can’t get back up on your own.  It’s like roller skating: your feet get all tangled up under you, and if someone else doesn’t come to your rescue you have to crawl over and hoist yourself up with a tree branch.  So I just laid in the snow, too tired to crawl away, feeling sorry for myself and thinking about how stupid I was to sign up for this.  I’m not athletic—I can barely walk to the store, let alone hike up a mountain with metal contraptions strapped to my feet.  I should have just stayed at home and worked on the pile of homework I already have.

When I finally got up onto my knees, I found two boys hurrying back towards me.  Josh and Darby, the two appointed pack leaders, had been racing each other all day in an attempt to be first, but they’d both come back to help me.  They pulled me to my feet, but when I stumbled again and landed back on my knees, they did more than just that.  They linked arms and carried me.

I don’t know how hard it is to carry someone while wearing snow shoes.  I can’t imagine it’s easy.  But they carried me halfway back to our lunch tables, and even when they put me down again they stayed there, putting out a hand whenever I missed a step.  They didn’t ask for anything in return, just conversation and an easy laugh when they broke out in a mini snowball fight.  And when I lent Darby a quarter to buy coffee, he gave me a high five and exclaimed, “I love people!”   

You know what, Darby? Me too.

Thank you for showing me what kind of person I should be.

-Amanda

The price of convictions

What matters is not the idea a man holds,

but the depth at which he holds it.

~Ezra Pound

The topic of convictions has been floating around in my head lately and I thought it might make a good topic. So here goes... How strongly do you hold onto your convictions? Is there a situation where it is ok to let go of what you believe in so that you can gain what you really want?

There have been two incidents in the news this week where people have let go of their long standing convictions and that has really bugged me. I might not always agree with what you believe in, but if you are willing to stand up for your beliefs and defend them I can at least respect you. In these two cases I can't give them any respect. For the change that they adopted didn't come about because after much soul searching they realized their beliefs were wrong, instead they traded what they believed in for money and power.

First news broke that after years of a zero tolerance policy the boy scouts of America were contemplating removing their ban on homosexual scouts and scout leaders. At first I was thrilled by this news, I have long been a proponent of gay rights and have felt that the boy scouts were wrong to ban gays, but then I read more into it and found the real reason they are considering this huge departure from their previously stated beliefs. Money. Turns out after the statement the boy scouts of America released last year reaffirming the ban on gay scouts and leaders, there was both a public and financial backlash, and while the public outcry didn't cause them to bat an eye, the financial hit did. According to several board members that spoke to NBC news on condition of anonymity, it was this loss of sponsors that has caused the boy scouts to reconsider. I find this sad, if you think gays should be allowed in the boy scouts because its the right thing to do, then do it for that reason and that reason alone. If they remain "morally opposed" to gays as they said last year, then keep the ban and damn the consequences. You don't get to do both, your convictions shouldn't be for sale.

The second incident was the republican party changing their stance on immigration. The party of giant boarder walls, minute men, and self deportation, is now talking about comprehensive immigration reform and allowing a path to citizenship. Again I love the outcome, I believe that we should have immigration reform, and that reform must include a path to citizenship, but I find it frustrating that after years of being against it, the republicans are for it, not because it is the right thing to do, but for power. Last weekend many republicans took to the airwaves talking about how they couldn't be a "stupid" party, how if they wanted to remain relevant as a party they must change. They talked about how Barack Obama won 7 of 10 votes from Latino voters, if a republican wants to become president they can't overcome those kinds of numbers. So poof now the republican party is for helping illegal immigrants become citizens, just like that. They are willing to sacrifice their ideals for a chance at power, but if you are given that power, without convictions, how can you govern fairly?

These are but two examples of something that I am sure happens a thousand times a day, these groups do not have a monopoly on this, they are simply the ones that sparked this thought. How? How is this possible? I can't do it that's for sure. I can't auction my values to the highest bidder, or pretend to not be who I have always been long enough to be voted into power. I will question my beliefs, I will seek out other points of view, and if in that soul searching I find that I am in the wrong, then and only then will I change. If you truly want to make a difference in this world you must stand for something, you must believe in it with everything you have. For if you don't, if your values are empty shells that can be filled on a whim, then you are truly lost and you have my pity.

Troy Mangum 

MLK

“Early morning, April 4
Shot rings out in the Memphis sky
Free at last, they took your life
They could not take your pride”

-“Pride (In the Name of Love) U2

I am delayed in writing about the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  On Monday I watched an African American man be sworn in as President for a second term, on Martin Luther King Day. How fitting and perfect.

“A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

DR. King died fighting for the right that all people should be treated equal. Have the same rights. Be treated with love and kindness. He fought for this with such passion and against such hatred. He died fighting for what was right.

If we all could take the same stance, fight for what’s right. Fight for EQUALITY. Make ourselves heard, this world would be a much better place.  

Thank you Dr. King, for your passionate fight, your strength and wisdom and the mark that you have left on this world.  

“In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” 
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Am I my brother's keeper?

"Am I my brother's keeper?"

Gen 4:9

This is the question that I am asking myself today... Do we have a responsibility to watch out for and care for one another? Or is the only obligation we truly have to ourselves?

Am I my brother's keeper? To me the only answer is yes. I say that with such conviction that is almost impossible for me to see any other answer as possible. We can not and should not stand alone, for no matter where we are in this life we have only succeeded because of others who were willing to help us along the way and a healthy dose of sheer luck. Sometimes we forget that, sometimes our successes are ours alone, and our setbacks are due to others. We forget the sacrifices our parents went through to ensure a better life for us, we forget the countless hands that guided us on the right path and kept us from falling. Without them would you be where you are today? Without them can you not picture yourself in a place where you might  need help, not because your lazy, or a bad person, or made bad choices, but just because no one was there when you needed that push.

The harder question I have is this: Can we force someone else to help? Can we make others do the right thing? As individuals: No I don't think we can, they have the right to choose just as I do, and while I might not respect their choice I will respect there right to make that choice. As groups and companies: Yes I think we can. The United States is a republic, a republic where the majority rules, but not at the expense of the minority. When the need arises to protect the minority the goverment has the moral authority to step in force the hand of those who are unwilling to help.

I truly believe that it is our moral duty to care for one another, to help those in need, for after all is said and done and we have left this life behind us, which will be more important to those we left behind, how much money we made, or how much help we gave to others. Money is finite, you can't take it with you when you go, but hope and love, that carries with us into the next great journey lighting our way to paradise. We all share this world, we are all connected, and we are all of us our brother's keeper.

Change

Ghandi told us to "Be the change you wish to see in the world," and I'm trying hard to live by that motto.  Unfortunately our country still suffers from inequality, and everywhere I go I still hear gay slurs and homophobic comments, even from people who don't intend to put such menace behind their words.  But that, to me, is not the problem.  The problem is when we send hate back to them, when we discriminate against them for discriminating against others.  It doesn't work like that.

We have to love, and love and love and love and love.  That's the only option.  That is the only way things will ever change.

Amanda