Clouds

"I want everyone to know:

You don't have to find out you're dying

to start living."

~Zach Sobiech

Today the world is a little worse off, for today Zach passed away. For those who don't know Zack was 14 when he was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, a type of bone cancer he spent years having treatments and surgeries trying to prolong the inevitable, but last May at the age of 17 doctors told him there were no more effective treatments left. It is how he dealt with that news that has inspired me.

 "You know most people live kind of in the middle, in between 'all your dreams come true' and 'you're dying,' and it's a very comfortable place to live. I'm living on the two extreme ends, so you have really, really good days and you have really, really bad days." Those were the words of a 17 year old who knew his days were numbered, and yet chose to make sure that he crammed as much happiness as he could into each moment that he was allowed to be here. He turned to music as a way to live on after his death, he wrote the song "Clouds" as a way to say goodbye, if you haven't seen it yet do yourself a favor and go watch it his words are much more powerful than mine.

He chose to be happy despite the tragic events of his life. How many of us would have done the same? How many of us would have instead cursed God, or fate, or luck? How many of us would have stayed in that dark and lonely hole that Zach found himself in at the beginning of his last journey? Zach was able to climb up, up, up, he somehow found his way through all the pain, and the tears and found his way to the clouds. He found his way but he didn't do it alone. He had help, friends, family, complete strangers on the internet helped him on this journey. So tonight as I sit here and feel the loss of a man I never met, I will let his spirit know that I am a better person because he was on this earth. To those who find themselves in that dark and lonely hole I ask that you let me know. I will bring the rope and help you climb up.

You don't have to find out you're dying to start living... Thank you Zach.

Troy

Love thy enemy

"The practice of forgiveness is our most important

contribution to the healing of the world"

~Marianne Williamson

 

Today's post may be controversial to some, but I felt it was a risk I was willing to take, for this story truly moved me.

 

Paul Douglas Keane is my newest hero. A 68 year old retired school teacher who I have never met has restored my faith in humanity in a time when I desperately needed it. This man has come forward and offered to donate one of his burial plots to the family of Boston Marathon bomber Tamerlan Tsarnaev. For three weeks the body of Tamerlan Tsarnaev has yet to be buried, as Worchester funeral director Peter Stefan has been unsuccessfully searching for a cemetery that will accept the body. Paul Keane has no connection to the Tsarnaev family, in fact two of his friends were standing within 50 feet from the bomb when it went off. He is not trying to minimize the horror and grief of the victims of the terrorist attack, he simply feels that Christianity should put its money where its mouth is. Paul Keane has stepped up and offered his plot with one condition, that he does it in the memory of his mother who taught Sunday school for forty years and taught him to love thine enemy. "Love thy enemy. That's what my mother would have done and that's what I'm doing," Keane said. "Christianity is supposed to be the religion of forgiveness. Well, lets start here."

 

Love thy enemy... what a concept. What a way to live your life. What would the world be like if we could take a page from Mr. Keane's philosophy. I think it would be a much better world. To look past the anger and grief we feel, to look past the horrible acts that others commit against us, and forgive them. To simply let go, let go of hate, of fear, of anger, to let go and grab hold. Grab hold of forgiveness, grab hold of love, grab hold of hope. For when we do this, when we turn the other cheek, when we find it within ourselves to forgive others and offer to help them...That is what I would truly call Godly. I don't know if I would have the courage to do what Mr. Keane did, to face the backlash that his act of generosity will cause him, to face the scorn, the ridicule, and the hate that others are already sending his way. This man faces all of this with three simple words taught to him by his mother, Love Thy Enemy.

 

Mr. Keane, we have never met, and we probably never will, but I want you to know that your gesture has inspired me. You have made me see the best in people, and made me see the person I want to be. Someone who does what he knows is right no matter what others may think or say. So to you I say thank you. Thank you for showing me that it doesn't matter what other people do to you, it is instead what you do for others that truly matters.

 

Troy 

 





Day of Silence

Today is a Day of Silence. It was made originally as a way for students to show their support for LGBT members, but there were so many more people suffering in silence today.

There was a seventeen-year-old boy that I love, lying in a hospital bed and sick with a disease we never talk about. He's battled depression since we were kids, and when “Suck it up” didn't work anymore he tried to end all it instead.

There was a girl at school who refused to report her sexual abuse because she didn't want to cause drama. When I promised her I would go to support her, she turned to look at me with teary eyes and said, “The last time I reported him, nothing happened. Why should I do it again?”

There was a girl who giggled in my ear to tell me that Bobby is the straightest-looking fag she's ever met, and suddenly all of this boy's anger and sarcasm made sense to me. It wasn't his personality; it was his defense.

There was a man who snorted when my friend chose to buy a large Slurpee with money she'd worked hard to earn herself. As we were leaving, he muttered, “Maybe that's the reason you're a size twenty.” She grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the store before I could say anything back.

There are so, so many of us who are suffering silently every day. You're fat, you're gay, you're worthless. Don't say anything, don't respond, don't report it, don't egg them on. It will only get worse. It can only get better. Don't say anything, don't react. Don't let them know they hurt you. I chose not to participate in the Day of Silence for that exact reason: because there are so many people who don't have a voice, and I do.

-Amanda

Shining into the darkness

It's better to be good than evil,

but one achieves goodness

at a terrific cost.

~Stephen King

Today I am writing about the tragedy in Boston and what it means to me and about what it says about us all. This tragedy has shown me both good and evil, right and wrong, and the way I see the world has been forever changed because of it.

I try not to call people evil, because I don't often feel justified as I don't truly know why they did what they did. Were they misguided in their views? Did they truly feel that they were in the right? I don't know and so I try not to judge. Yesterday however I feel comfortable in calling both the act and those that did it as evil. Evil is placing two bombs filled with shrapnel at the finish line of a race that is surrounded by innocent bystanders. Evil is attacking men, women, and children, whose only fault was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Evil is attacking not just those who felt the blast, but their loved ones who rushed to the hospitals unsure of the fate of those they love. Evil is trying to take away the innocence of a child, who after seeing what you did, can only ask "why?" "Why would someone do that?" "Why would someone try and hurt kids?"  Evil is trying to make us all afraid. Evil is trying to force us to let fear into our hearts. To whoever did this, I say two things: number one, you are evil, and number two, you failed.

You failed when men and women rushed towards the scene of the explosion not away from it. You failed when they tried to help others and not try and save themselves. You failed when runners kept running right to the hospitals to give blood. You failed when parents all across this nation talked to their children and gave them hope to defend against the fear. You failed before those bombs even went off, you failed because Good will always triumph over evil. That is what I will walk away from knowing most in my heart, and it will help me in the dark times. Good will win out in the end, it always has, and it always will.

I watched those men and women run into that smoke not caring about getting hurt, thinking only to help others. I watched doctors and nurses who thought the only thing they were going to treat that day was exhaustion and dehydration, immediately rush to provide medical care that saved many lives. I have watched the outpouring of love and support from strangers opening their homes in Boston to anyone who needed a bed to sleep in and a warm meal. I watched how in Moscow the outside of the U.S. Embassy became an impromptu memorial where people dropped off flowers and sent prayers to strangers halfway around the world.

These are the images I will keep in my heart. The images of hope, hope for all mankind. You tried to fill me with fear, instead all you did was fill me with hope, and showed me once again there are good people in this world, and that the good people far outnumber the evil. We will carry on, we will thrive in the face of adversity, we will continue to shine into the darkness and give hope to those who need it.

Defense of fear and bigotry.

Congress decided to reflect

an honor of collective moral judgement

and to express

moral disapproval of homosexuality.

~House report on the Defense of Marriage Act: 1996

Today I find myself once again writing about a topic near and dear to my heart, equality. The supreme court heard arguments today relating to the constitutionality of the Defence of Marriage Act. An act that was passed in 1996 with two main focuses. The first being to define marriage as being between one man and one woman, and the second being to punish anyone who was different. This law is not only unconstitutional, but is most importantly immoral.

First I will look at the unconstitutional aspects of this law. The United States of America was founded on the principles of equality, it was written in the Declaration of Independence itself: "We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal. That they are endowed by their creator with unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness." These aren't just words on a page, they are an idea that was the backbone of America. We are all free, and we are all equal. A simple thought, a much harder goal. America hasn't always lived up to this creed, often we have struggled to bring this dream to light, but we fight on and overcome those who would see us fail. America went to war to decide the fate of slaves, women marched to gain the right to vote, African Americans gave their lives so that they could be seen as just equal, not separate but equal. Each step brought us closer to the true dream of America, one nation of equals, E Pluribus Unum. Our dream is closer than ever before, but we are not there yet.

We are not there so long as young men and women are forced to hide who they truly are out of fear of how they will be treated by others. We are not there so long as loving couples are denied the basic rights that so many of us take for granted. We are not there so long as words like "gay" and "fag" are used as insults or used to describe undesirable things. We are not there so long as people continue to defend fear and bigotry.

Fear and bigotry, strong words, but those are the only reasons I can find for the Defense of Marriage Act, and Prop 8. My best friend is gay, has been his entire life, he never chose it, never wanted it, hell he thought about suicide, all because he was afraid of being who he truly was. That breaks my heart, luckily for me he decided to stick around, decided that he would be open with who he was and damn the consequences. A few years ago he fell in love with a great guy, and they got "married" (I have to use quotes as Utah doesn't recognize love unless it comes in one shape and size) I also got lucky and found love to an amazing woman. Here is the crazy thing... Our marriages in no way effect each other. Surprising I know! My marriage is in no way weakened because of his, when my wife calls me her husband, the word is not diminished because my friend is also called that. If anything my marriage is stronger because of the friendship I have with them, because when I look at them, I don't see two "gay" men, I simply see two people deeply in love.

Love.

Love..

Love...

Maybe if we spend more time being with the people that we love, and less time worrying about who everyone else loves, maybe then we can take one step closer to the dream of equality. I know one day we will get there, I have faith, and while I wait I will enjoy spending time with my loved ones, whether they are straight, gay, lesbian, bi, or transgendered, and I will be happy, and at peace.

One Dream

The way is not in the sky.

The way is in the heart.

~Buddha

Throughout the vastness of our universe there is a tiny speck that we call the Sun, and 93 million miles from the sun lies a tiny blue planet that we call Earth, and that tiny blue planet is home to over 7 billion people. Seven billion people... in my entire lifetime I might just might meet a few thousand, and most of them will be forgotten soon after we meet. I will meet so few, and yet I am connected to the rest in ways that I can't begin to understand. What happens to someone halfway around the world affects me. I cry with them, I rejoice with them, and I grieve with them. Why? I don't know them, odds are I will never even know anyone who knows them, and yet there is an invisible tie that binds us together. One dream that we all share.

One dream, a dream of happiness, a dream of peace, a dream of prosperity, and a dream of hope. Sadly, as I am reminded each morning, dreams are fleeting, and easily forgotten if we don't take the time to focus on the dream and how it made us feel. It is easy to forget, to get distracted by our own lives, and let that universal dream slip away. We begin to focus on what makes us different, and not what makes us the same. We begin to fear others, to worry that they want to take away our dream, and so we lash out, we attack, oppress, demonize, all in the name of preserving our dream. This is the biggest tragedy in the history of mankind.

We can't seem to get past the surface and see the soul underneath. We focus on the color of your skin, the language you speak, the god you pray to, and the gender you love. For some reason that became important to so many people, it became a reason to judge, a reason to hate, and a reason to kill. WHY??? I have never met anyone in 35 years on this planet that has made an impact on my life based on their nationality, race, religion, or sexual orientation. Instead the impact has come from their hearts, their minds, and their souls. What lies on the surface should stay on the surface, it is not a good enough reason to hate, and it is not enough reason to love. Look DEEPER!

Look deeper, look for that spark in their soul where the universal dream lives. Find that spark, see how similar it is to the spark that lives in you. We share the same dream, WE are one people, WE are one mind, WE are one heart, and WE are one dream.

Troy

Celebrate

I think all of us celebrate the same things.  We give our holidays different names and different stories, but they come to the same point: the craving for love and acceptance, the joy of living, the need for God in our lives. We eat or fast to show our gratitude, we dance or pray to connect with the divinity that is all around us. There is no us and them - it's just one big we. 

-Amanda