Defense of fear and bigotry.

Congress decided to reflect

an honor of collective moral judgement

and to express

moral disapproval of homosexuality.

~House report on the Defense of Marriage Act: 1996

Today I find myself once again writing about a topic near and dear to my heart, equality. The supreme court heard arguments today relating to the constitutionality of the Defence of Marriage Act. An act that was passed in 1996 with two main focuses. The first being to define marriage as being between one man and one woman, and the second being to punish anyone who was different. This law is not only unconstitutional, but is most importantly immoral.

First I will look at the unconstitutional aspects of this law. The United States of America was founded on the principles of equality, it was written in the Declaration of Independence itself: "We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal. That they are endowed by their creator with unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness." These aren't just words on a page, they are an idea that was the backbone of America. We are all free, and we are all equal. A simple thought, a much harder goal. America hasn't always lived up to this creed, often we have struggled to bring this dream to light, but we fight on and overcome those who would see us fail. America went to war to decide the fate of slaves, women marched to gain the right to vote, African Americans gave their lives so that they could be seen as just equal, not separate but equal. Each step brought us closer to the true dream of America, one nation of equals, E Pluribus Unum. Our dream is closer than ever before, but we are not there yet.

We are not there so long as young men and women are forced to hide who they truly are out of fear of how they will be treated by others. We are not there so long as loving couples are denied the basic rights that so many of us take for granted. We are not there so long as words like "gay" and "fag" are used as insults or used to describe undesirable things. We are not there so long as people continue to defend fear and bigotry.

Fear and bigotry, strong words, but those are the only reasons I can find for the Defense of Marriage Act, and Prop 8. My best friend is gay, has been his entire life, he never chose it, never wanted it, hell he thought about suicide, all because he was afraid of being who he truly was. That breaks my heart, luckily for me he decided to stick around, decided that he would be open with who he was and damn the consequences. A few years ago he fell in love with a great guy, and they got "married" (I have to use quotes as Utah doesn't recognize love unless it comes in one shape and size) I also got lucky and found love to an amazing woman. Here is the crazy thing... Our marriages in no way effect each other. Surprising I know! My marriage is in no way weakened because of his, when my wife calls me her husband, the word is not diminished because my friend is also called that. If anything my marriage is stronger because of the friendship I have with them, because when I look at them, I don't see two "gay" men, I simply see two people deeply in love.

Love.

Love..

Love...

Maybe if we spend more time being with the people that we love, and less time worrying about who everyone else loves, maybe then we can take one step closer to the dream of equality. I know one day we will get there, I have faith, and while I wait I will enjoy spending time with my loved ones, whether they are straight, gay, lesbian, bi, or transgendered, and I will be happy, and at peace.

One Dream

The way is not in the sky.

The way is in the heart.

~Buddha

Throughout the vastness of our universe there is a tiny speck that we call the Sun, and 93 million miles from the sun lies a tiny blue planet that we call Earth, and that tiny blue planet is home to over 7 billion people. Seven billion people... in my entire lifetime I might just might meet a few thousand, and most of them will be forgotten soon after we meet. I will meet so few, and yet I am connected to the rest in ways that I can't begin to understand. What happens to someone halfway around the world affects me. I cry with them, I rejoice with them, and I grieve with them. Why? I don't know them, odds are I will never even know anyone who knows them, and yet there is an invisible tie that binds us together. One dream that we all share.

One dream, a dream of happiness, a dream of peace, a dream of prosperity, and a dream of hope. Sadly, as I am reminded each morning, dreams are fleeting, and easily forgotten if we don't take the time to focus on the dream and how it made us feel. It is easy to forget, to get distracted by our own lives, and let that universal dream slip away. We begin to focus on what makes us different, and not what makes us the same. We begin to fear others, to worry that they want to take away our dream, and so we lash out, we attack, oppress, demonize, all in the name of preserving our dream. This is the biggest tragedy in the history of mankind.

We can't seem to get past the surface and see the soul underneath. We focus on the color of your skin, the language you speak, the god you pray to, and the gender you love. For some reason that became important to so many people, it became a reason to judge, a reason to hate, and a reason to kill. WHY??? I have never met anyone in 35 years on this planet that has made an impact on my life based on their nationality, race, religion, or sexual orientation. Instead the impact has come from their hearts, their minds, and their souls. What lies on the surface should stay on the surface, it is not a good enough reason to hate, and it is not enough reason to love. Look DEEPER!

Look deeper, look for that spark in their soul where the universal dream lives. Find that spark, see how similar it is to the spark that lives in you. We share the same dream, WE are one people, WE are one mind, WE are one heart, and WE are one dream.

Troy

Celebrate

I think all of us celebrate the same things.  We give our holidays different names and different stories, but they come to the same point: the craving for love and acceptance, the joy of living, the need for God in our lives. We eat or fast to show our gratitude, we dance or pray to connect with the divinity that is all around us. There is no us and them - it's just one big we. 

-Amanda

Backspace Challenge

I too often find that on the occasions that I write I end up backspacing a ton. I write it, read it, doubt it and delete it. It always seems that I am trying to alter it so that anyone that reads it will not be offended, think I'm a raving loon, ect. However it always seems that the first draft is the most raw, real. No edit. So I am writing this with no backspace. I kinda regret using the word raw now. Oh well. Here is my challenge to any of you that read this. Take time today and write about something that you are passionate about with no form of edit (I'll accept spell check) Say goodbye to backspace and erasers! Freedom!

It's harder than it sounds, I was just writing a challenge for you guys and it was rough!

Good luck peeps.

All the world's a stage

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts.

~William Shakespeare "As you like it." 

My sister is pondering a quote tonight, and as the reason for this blog is to bring together different view points, I will throw my two cents into the world and see where they fall. The quote is this: "The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be." Is this quote accurate? Is honor something that can be faked? Are we all pretenders acting out our lives in a way we think others want us to? As for me... I agree with this quote.

I live by a simple motto that has always struck me as true: "Be the hero of your own life, don't let someone else play that part." Be the hero... I like that, I like to think that I can be just like the heroes that I used to stay up late reading about in books. The hero who faced down any obstacle, rescued every damsel in distress, and made sure he always did the right thing no matter what the cost. As I grew up I realized that my world wasn't the same as the worlds in my books, my world had a lot more gray, and not as much black and white. Unlike the heroes of my bedtime stories I could be tempted to do the wrong thing, I could justify my actions and make it seem like the right thing. There wasn't anything inside of me that rejected the gray areas, I didn't have an inner compass that always pointed to the right path. I wasn't born with any of those things, so I did the next best thing, I created them.

I created within me the Hero that I always wanted to be, someone who never gave up in the face of insurmountable odds, someone who fought for what he believed in, and someone who would shed his own blood helping those that needed him most. I pretended to be that hero, and when I did it became easier to reject the things I knew were wrong, lessened the temptation to take the easy road, because that's not what heroes did. At first it was an act, but after awhile it became who I am, I no longer had to think of what the hero would do in any situation, I acted without thought, and without hesitation. I became who I pretended to be. Sadly I can't say I have never done anything that I knew was wrong, or that I never took the easy road, I can say that I am proud of the hero that I have become. I overcame my disability instead of using it as a crutch and an excuse. I spend my days helping those that need me most, I give my blood, sweat, and tears, (sometimes literally) fighting the battles that they can not.

Can we become that which we pretend to be? I say yes, yes we can. Pretend to be a better version of yourself, and before you know it you will have become that person that you always felt you could have been.

Troy