I Do

 All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

~Section 1 of the 14th Amendment

 

I Do. Two simple words that somehow hold so much meaning. I Do... I was lucky enough to say these words a little over four years ago, and with these two words my life was forever changed for the better. Those two words carried within them all my emotions towards my wife, the joy that we had shared, and the promise to share so much more in the years ahead. Before that moment I had no idea how powerful those two words were, and today I was shown once again their importance. This morning I was lucky enough to be able to go down to the Salt Lake County Clerks Office and witness my childhood friend finally be able to say these two words with the man he loves, and to finally be able to call him his legal husband. I was lucky enough to see the joy in his eyes when he said those words, to see that moment when he finally got to understand just how important those words are.

 

My friends were the 123rd couple that got married this morning, and as I stood there waiting for there turn I was able to witness (and in some cases be the actual witness) the joy and happiness of 122 other couples, who before today were strangers to me, and now they are all my friends. They have to be friends now, what else could they be? For as I shared in the moment where their lives changed for the better, mine changed as well. I watched some couples who were young and just starting their adventures together, and I saw some who had spend a lifetime loving each other without being able to have it recognized. With each kiss the crowds cheered and tears flowed from happy eyes, and within me the belief that this was the right thing was reinforced.

 

I was there for three hours, and for those three hours I saw nothing but the best from people, from ministers who came down to help marry couples free of charge, to people who brought in donuts and juice for those who were waiting for loved ones, strangers wishing each other congratulations and wishes of good luck. For three hours I surrounded myself with this, listened to sighs of relief and murmurs of  I love you . Watched kisses of the newly married couples, hugs from friends and families, and tears of joy. I watched pure joy and love for three hours, how can that be a bad thing? How can any of that have a negative impact on the relationship I have with my wife?

 

It can't. It won't. It hasn't.

 

Find love in your world and embrace it. You will find yourself a better person because of it.

 

Troy Mangum



Over the Rainbow

Life is eternal, and love is immortal,
and death is only a horizon;
and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
~Rossiter Worthington Raymond

 

 

Today is a  sad day, or maybe it's a happy day or maybe it's both. Like so many things in life, it depends on which way you are looking and which truth you see. From where I stand it seems to be a day that is mixed with both happiness and sadness. I don't like these sort of days, they make me want to sit down and in my best Winnie the Pooh voice let out a heartfelt "Oh Bother". I don't like these sort of days but I am glad for them, glad because they make me take a step back and view the world from a different angle then the one I try and use so often. I try and fill my life up with happiness, laugh at the world, and relish in the small victories, but sometimes we need some sadness in our lives, it makes the good times that much better.

 

Today I unexpectedly lost someone important in my life, and my world is a little darker from her passing. I have grieved and cried, laughed and hugged, I think I have crammed in every emotion there is this morning. All that is left to do is say goodbye.

 

Farewell: a simple word that holds so much meaning, I didn't get a chance to say the farewell that I wanted to say to you, I don't know if anyone ever does, we always think we have more time than we actually do. I didn't get to hug you and tell you that I loved you, I didn't get to tell you that everything would be all right. I didn't get to tell you that I would look after those you were leaving behind, I didn't get a chance to tell you to give grandpa a hug from me. I didn't get to say those things to you before you passed beyond my sight, and that saddens me, but I am comforted in the knowledge that I didn't really need to say those things, because you already knew them. I did say goodbye to you, because goodbye is said by the living to the living. We say it every second of every day, we say it in our actions, and in our words, in our thoughts and in our dreams. I know in my heart you knew the love we have for you, and I know that you were not worried about those you were leaving behind because you knew that others would be there to comfort them. I know you didn't need me to tell you to give your husband a hug, I know in my heart and soul that the hug you two shared after four years apart encompassed more love than I can imagine.

 

I know you are in a better place, I know that you are happy, and that knowledge helps make the sadness in my heart a little less. I know you had to go, and I am grateful that I got to have you in my life for as long as I did. You will live on in my heart, and in the hearts of all those who loved you, every time we tell a story of you, or simply sit back and share a memory, you will walk with us again. You will live on in the teachings of love and kindness that you gave to so many people. You are gone but not gone. Here and there. Lost and found. I can not see you, but I know you are there. You are just somewhere over the rainbow, and while I can't go there yet, I know you will be waiting for me to join you one day.

 

Farewell LaPreal, but not Goodbye.

 

Love

 

Troy

The urgency of the moment

"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

 

~Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

 

Fifty years ago today these words were spoken by a great man. A man who was willing to stand up for what he believed in, someone who was willing to fight for what he knew to be right in his heart and in his soul. The true greatness of this man was not in his words, or even in his actions, no, the true greatness was in the perceived lack of action. He fought not with bat or bullet. Nor with fist, or fire. He fought with a mirror, a mirror that he used to reflect the images of hate and inequality back to others in a way that stripped down all the stereotypes and fears. His use of passive non violence showed himself and his followers not as a group of attackers trying to rob others of what they already had, but as victims, who were just trying to claim what was rightfully theirs. He was able to strip away the fear and the hatred that so many wore around them like armor, he showed them that there was far more that made them similar then there would ever be that made them different. Without this fear America was able to take a step towards fulfilling our creed. We took a step that day, but sadly fifty years later there are still more steps we need to take.

 

We have taken strides towards equality but we as a society have become complacent. A cloak of apathy now surrounds us. We care more about who is playing a superhero, or what a former child star did on stage then we do about the inequality we see around us. Far too often we say things are "good enough" we look at others who are still fighting for the cause as opportunists who are trying to make up stories for their own benefit and profit. We look at the President and say "See! He is African American, that proves that racism is dead." without taking the time to really look to see if racism is truly dead.

 

Racism isn't dead so long as African American's are given less opportunities for promotions and raises at jobs. Racism isn't dead so long as minorities are stopped and searched by police, followed and shot by strangers because they "looked suspicious". Racism isn't dead as long as people are adamant about building a giant fence across Mexico to keep out illegal immigrants. Racism isn't dead, we just need to acknowledge it when we see it. Stop sweeping it under the rug. Don't let others get away with it, call people on it. Hold up the mirror and show them how truly ugly these thoughts and  actions are. Strip away the fear and hate, and help them take a step towards equality. 

 

All men are created equal... An incredible thought and a worthy goal. A world with equals, that is a world I want to live in. A world where people aren't afraid to be different. A world where people don't have to hide who they are, or who they love. A world where people don't consider suicide as a better alternative then living as a gay man or woman. A world where finding out that someone feels like they were born the wrong sex is met with understanding and kindness and not met with scorn and jokes at their expense on the internet. A world of tolerance... What a world that would be.

 

I think we have come a long way in fifty years, we have done more in the pursuit of equality after this speech  then in the 187 years of our nations history before it. I am not here to bash America, or to diminish what we have achieved but I have come to shine a mirror. To reflect back to others the view of those that are still fighting for what was promised to them at the signing of the Declaration of Independence. I know my words will never reach as many as Dr. King's and I am ok with that. I don't have to touch millions, I just have to touch one. If one person takes a second look at the world around them, I have achieved my goal, if one person struggling to find acceptance reads my words and is given new strength knowing that others fight for them, I will have achieved my goal. I seek to shake off the cloak of apathy, to focus on the urgency of the moment, for that is all we truly have, one moment, the here and the now. We can learn from the past but can't change it. We plan for the future but can't predict it. We have one moment to change the world. One chance to create a world of Hope. That is the world I want to live in. That is the world I will work for in every moment I have left. I might never see this world, but I will make sure that my children will live in a world that is at least a little closer to the world I see each night in my dreams.

 

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.

 

 

Troy Mangum



=

When the Sun rises,

It rises for Everyone.

 

= This is what I have fought for, this is what I will continue to fight for. The right to be equal. The right to be who you are. The right to not be bullied, or attacked. The right to not be afraid.

 

Yesterday the Supreme Court of the United States struck down the Defense of Marriage Act, labeling it unconstitutional under the Fifth Amendment which guarantees citizens protection from being deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process. Liberty... that which we fought so hard to gain at our nation's birth still eludes some of us today, but thankfully we took a step forward yesterday. The Supreme Court ruled that we cannot discriminate against a group of citizens without giving them their due process, and in so doing opened up the door to marriage for Gays and Lesbians all over this great nation.

= We are not there yet, I know that, but for the first time I can honestly say it will happen in my lifetime, and for that I rejoice. I have championed the cause of Gay rights my entire adult life, not because I knew people who were Gay or Lesbian, but because I knew what was right. This fight hasn't been an easy one, I have been called names by intolerant people, I have lost friends who couldn't look beyond themselves long enough to see the suffering in others. I am often asked why I fight so passionately for rights that do not affect me. For as a straight white man why would I care about Gay rights? Or minority rights? Or women's rights? Why fight if I already have the rights what benefit do I gain? My reply is simple, I do benefit. I benefit in a world where I won't have to explain to my children why some people are treated differently because they love someone. I benefit in a world free of intolerance and bigotry. I benefit in a world where children don't commit suicide because they are different. I benefit, and so does the world as a whole.

To those out there who read this and disagree with my views or disagree with the ruling by the Supreme Court I ask one simple question... Why? Why are you opposed to allowing others the right to show their love through marriage? How does that affect you at all? I have been married for almost four years, and my marriage is just as strong today as it was last week. This ruling didn't change anything for me, it didn't decrease the importance of my marriage or what makes it special. All this ruling did was pave the way for some of my friends and family to share in the joy of marriage no matter who they fall in love with. To you who still disagree I simply say this: Spend more time being with the people that you love, and spend less time worrying about who everyone else loves. Do this and we will all take a step closer to being =

Troy Mangum

 

Father's Day

I think being a good father is the best compliment you could give to any man—and not just those who are in the process of raising kids. There are all kinds of different versions of family and fatherhood, and the love, patience and kindness that merit a good dad should be celebrated in all its different forms. Some of us are fathers to plants and animals that need us. Some of us are working with kids who have never had a chance at a life before. Some of us are watching members of our adopted families grow up, and some are just watching out for the babies that are one step away from toppling off a chair.

Whatever kind of father you are, whether you're following your own dad's example or trying to be a better man than he was, thank you. Happy Father's Day.

-Amanda

Clouds

"I want everyone to know:

You don't have to find out you're dying

to start living."

~Zach Sobiech

Today the world is a little worse off, for today Zach passed away. For those who don't know Zack was 14 when he was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, a type of bone cancer he spent years having treatments and surgeries trying to prolong the inevitable, but last May at the age of 17 doctors told him there were no more effective treatments left. It is how he dealt with that news that has inspired me.

 "You know most people live kind of in the middle, in between 'all your dreams come true' and 'you're dying,' and it's a very comfortable place to live. I'm living on the two extreme ends, so you have really, really good days and you have really, really bad days." Those were the words of a 17 year old who knew his days were numbered, and yet chose to make sure that he crammed as much happiness as he could into each moment that he was allowed to be here. He turned to music as a way to live on after his death, he wrote the song "Clouds" as a way to say goodbye, if you haven't seen it yet do yourself a favor and go watch it his words are much more powerful than mine.

He chose to be happy despite the tragic events of his life. How many of us would have done the same? How many of us would have instead cursed God, or fate, or luck? How many of us would have stayed in that dark and lonely hole that Zach found himself in at the beginning of his last journey? Zach was able to climb up, up, up, he somehow found his way through all the pain, and the tears and found his way to the clouds. He found his way but he didn't do it alone. He had help, friends, family, complete strangers on the internet helped him on this journey. So tonight as I sit here and feel the loss of a man I never met, I will let his spirit know that I am a better person because he was on this earth. To those who find themselves in that dark and lonely hole I ask that you let me know. I will bring the rope and help you climb up.

You don't have to find out you're dying to start living... Thank you Zach.

Troy

Love thy enemy

"The practice of forgiveness is our most important

contribution to the healing of the world"

~Marianne Williamson

 

Today's post may be controversial to some, but I felt it was a risk I was willing to take, for this story truly moved me.

 

Paul Douglas Keane is my newest hero. A 68 year old retired school teacher who I have never met has restored my faith in humanity in a time when I desperately needed it. This man has come forward and offered to donate one of his burial plots to the family of Boston Marathon bomber Tamerlan Tsarnaev. For three weeks the body of Tamerlan Tsarnaev has yet to be buried, as Worchester funeral director Peter Stefan has been unsuccessfully searching for a cemetery that will accept the body. Paul Keane has no connection to the Tsarnaev family, in fact two of his friends were standing within 50 feet from the bomb when it went off. He is not trying to minimize the horror and grief of the victims of the terrorist attack, he simply feels that Christianity should put its money where its mouth is. Paul Keane has stepped up and offered his plot with one condition, that he does it in the memory of his mother who taught Sunday school for forty years and taught him to love thine enemy. "Love thy enemy. That's what my mother would have done and that's what I'm doing," Keane said. "Christianity is supposed to be the religion of forgiveness. Well, lets start here."

 

Love thy enemy... what a concept. What a way to live your life. What would the world be like if we could take a page from Mr. Keane's philosophy. I think it would be a much better world. To look past the anger and grief we feel, to look past the horrible acts that others commit against us, and forgive them. To simply let go, let go of hate, of fear, of anger, to let go and grab hold. Grab hold of forgiveness, grab hold of love, grab hold of hope. For when we do this, when we turn the other cheek, when we find it within ourselves to forgive others and offer to help them...That is what I would truly call Godly. I don't know if I would have the courage to do what Mr. Keane did, to face the backlash that his act of generosity will cause him, to face the scorn, the ridicule, and the hate that others are already sending his way. This man faces all of this with three simple words taught to him by his mother, Love Thy Enemy.

 

Mr. Keane, we have never met, and we probably never will, but I want you to know that your gesture has inspired me. You have made me see the best in people, and made me see the person I want to be. Someone who does what he knows is right no matter what others may think or say. So to you I say thank you. Thank you for showing me that it doesn't matter what other people do to you, it is instead what you do for others that truly matters.

 

Troy 

 





Day of Silence

Today is a Day of Silence. It was made originally as a way for students to show their support for LGBT members, but there were so many more people suffering in silence today.

There was a seventeen-year-old boy that I love, lying in a hospital bed and sick with a disease we never talk about. He's battled depression since we were kids, and when “Suck it up” didn't work anymore he tried to end all it instead.

There was a girl at school who refused to report her sexual abuse because she didn't want to cause drama. When I promised her I would go to support her, she turned to look at me with teary eyes and said, “The last time I reported him, nothing happened. Why should I do it again?”

There was a girl who giggled in my ear to tell me that Bobby is the straightest-looking fag she's ever met, and suddenly all of this boy's anger and sarcasm made sense to me. It wasn't his personality; it was his defense.

There was a man who snorted when my friend chose to buy a large Slurpee with money she'd worked hard to earn herself. As we were leaving, he muttered, “Maybe that's the reason you're a size twenty.” She grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the store before I could say anything back.

There are so, so many of us who are suffering silently every day. You're fat, you're gay, you're worthless. Don't say anything, don't respond, don't report it, don't egg them on. It will only get worse. It can only get better. Don't say anything, don't react. Don't let them know they hurt you. I chose not to participate in the Day of Silence for that exact reason: because there are so many people who don't have a voice, and I do.

-Amanda

Shining into the darkness

It's better to be good than evil,

but one achieves goodness

at a terrific cost.

~Stephen King

Today I am writing about the tragedy in Boston and what it means to me and about what it says about us all. This tragedy has shown me both good and evil, right and wrong, and the way I see the world has been forever changed because of it.

I try not to call people evil, because I don't often feel justified as I don't truly know why they did what they did. Were they misguided in their views? Did they truly feel that they were in the right? I don't know and so I try not to judge. Yesterday however I feel comfortable in calling both the act and those that did it as evil. Evil is placing two bombs filled with shrapnel at the finish line of a race that is surrounded by innocent bystanders. Evil is attacking men, women, and children, whose only fault was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Evil is attacking not just those who felt the blast, but their loved ones who rushed to the hospitals unsure of the fate of those they love. Evil is trying to take away the innocence of a child, who after seeing what you did, can only ask "why?" "Why would someone do that?" "Why would someone try and hurt kids?"  Evil is trying to make us all afraid. Evil is trying to force us to let fear into our hearts. To whoever did this, I say two things: number one, you are evil, and number two, you failed.

You failed when men and women rushed towards the scene of the explosion not away from it. You failed when they tried to help others and not try and save themselves. You failed when runners kept running right to the hospitals to give blood. You failed when parents all across this nation talked to their children and gave them hope to defend against the fear. You failed before those bombs even went off, you failed because Good will always triumph over evil. That is what I will walk away from knowing most in my heart, and it will help me in the dark times. Good will win out in the end, it always has, and it always will.

I watched those men and women run into that smoke not caring about getting hurt, thinking only to help others. I watched doctors and nurses who thought the only thing they were going to treat that day was exhaustion and dehydration, immediately rush to provide medical care that saved many lives. I have watched the outpouring of love and support from strangers opening their homes in Boston to anyone who needed a bed to sleep in and a warm meal. I watched how in Moscow the outside of the U.S. Embassy became an impromptu memorial where people dropped off flowers and sent prayers to strangers halfway around the world.

These are the images I will keep in my heart. The images of hope, hope for all mankind. You tried to fill me with fear, instead all you did was fill me with hope, and showed me once again there are good people in this world, and that the good people far outnumber the evil. We will carry on, we will thrive in the face of adversity, we will continue to shine into the darkness and give hope to those who need it.

Defense of fear and bigotry.

Congress decided to reflect

an honor of collective moral judgement

and to express

moral disapproval of homosexuality.

~House report on the Defense of Marriage Act: 1996

Today I find myself once again writing about a topic near and dear to my heart, equality. The supreme court heard arguments today relating to the constitutionality of the Defence of Marriage Act. An act that was passed in 1996 with two main focuses. The first being to define marriage as being between one man and one woman, and the second being to punish anyone who was different. This law is not only unconstitutional, but is most importantly immoral.

First I will look at the unconstitutional aspects of this law. The United States of America was founded on the principles of equality, it was written in the Declaration of Independence itself: "We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal. That they are endowed by their creator with unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness." These aren't just words on a page, they are an idea that was the backbone of America. We are all free, and we are all equal. A simple thought, a much harder goal. America hasn't always lived up to this creed, often we have struggled to bring this dream to light, but we fight on and overcome those who would see us fail. America went to war to decide the fate of slaves, women marched to gain the right to vote, African Americans gave their lives so that they could be seen as just equal, not separate but equal. Each step brought us closer to the true dream of America, one nation of equals, E Pluribus Unum. Our dream is closer than ever before, but we are not there yet.

We are not there so long as young men and women are forced to hide who they truly are out of fear of how they will be treated by others. We are not there so long as loving couples are denied the basic rights that so many of us take for granted. We are not there so long as words like "gay" and "fag" are used as insults or used to describe undesirable things. We are not there so long as people continue to defend fear and bigotry.

Fear and bigotry, strong words, but those are the only reasons I can find for the Defense of Marriage Act, and Prop 8. My best friend is gay, has been his entire life, he never chose it, never wanted it, hell he thought about suicide, all because he was afraid of being who he truly was. That breaks my heart, luckily for me he decided to stick around, decided that he would be open with who he was and damn the consequences. A few years ago he fell in love with a great guy, and they got "married" (I have to use quotes as Utah doesn't recognize love unless it comes in one shape and size) I also got lucky and found love to an amazing woman. Here is the crazy thing... Our marriages in no way effect each other. Surprising I know! My marriage is in no way weakened because of his, when my wife calls me her husband, the word is not diminished because my friend is also called that. If anything my marriage is stronger because of the friendship I have with them, because when I look at them, I don't see two "gay" men, I simply see two people deeply in love.

Love.

Love..

Love...

Maybe if we spend more time being with the people that we love, and less time worrying about who everyone else loves, maybe then we can take one step closer to the dream of equality. I know one day we will get there, I have faith, and while I wait I will enjoy spending time with my loved ones, whether they are straight, gay, lesbian, bi, or transgendered, and I will be happy, and at peace.

One Dream

The way is not in the sky.

The way is in the heart.

~Buddha

Throughout the vastness of our universe there is a tiny speck that we call the Sun, and 93 million miles from the sun lies a tiny blue planet that we call Earth, and that tiny blue planet is home to over 7 billion people. Seven billion people... in my entire lifetime I might just might meet a few thousand, and most of them will be forgotten soon after we meet. I will meet so few, and yet I am connected to the rest in ways that I can't begin to understand. What happens to someone halfway around the world affects me. I cry with them, I rejoice with them, and I grieve with them. Why? I don't know them, odds are I will never even know anyone who knows them, and yet there is an invisible tie that binds us together. One dream that we all share.

One dream, a dream of happiness, a dream of peace, a dream of prosperity, and a dream of hope. Sadly, as I am reminded each morning, dreams are fleeting, and easily forgotten if we don't take the time to focus on the dream and how it made us feel. It is easy to forget, to get distracted by our own lives, and let that universal dream slip away. We begin to focus on what makes us different, and not what makes us the same. We begin to fear others, to worry that they want to take away our dream, and so we lash out, we attack, oppress, demonize, all in the name of preserving our dream. This is the biggest tragedy in the history of mankind.

We can't seem to get past the surface and see the soul underneath. We focus on the color of your skin, the language you speak, the god you pray to, and the gender you love. For some reason that became important to so many people, it became a reason to judge, a reason to hate, and a reason to kill. WHY??? I have never met anyone in 35 years on this planet that has made an impact on my life based on their nationality, race, religion, or sexual orientation. Instead the impact has come from their hearts, their minds, and their souls. What lies on the surface should stay on the surface, it is not a good enough reason to hate, and it is not enough reason to love. Look DEEPER!

Look deeper, look for that spark in their soul where the universal dream lives. Find that spark, see how similar it is to the spark that lives in you. We share the same dream, WE are one people, WE are one mind, WE are one heart, and WE are one dream.

Troy

Celebrate

I think all of us celebrate the same things.  We give our holidays different names and different stories, but they come to the same point: the craving for love and acceptance, the joy of living, the need for God in our lives. We eat or fast to show our gratitude, we dance or pray to connect with the divinity that is all around us. There is no us and them - it's just one big we. 

-Amanda

Backspace Challenge

I too often find that on the occasions that I write I end up backspacing a ton. I write it, read it, doubt it and delete it. It always seems that I am trying to alter it so that anyone that reads it will not be offended, think I'm a raving loon, ect. However it always seems that the first draft is the most raw, real. No edit. So I am writing this with no backspace. I kinda regret using the word raw now. Oh well. Here is my challenge to any of you that read this. Take time today and write about something that you are passionate about with no form of edit (I'll accept spell check) Say goodbye to backspace and erasers! Freedom!

It's harder than it sounds, I was just writing a challenge for you guys and it was rough!

Good luck peeps.

All the world's a stage

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts.

~William Shakespeare "As you like it." 

My sister is pondering a quote tonight, and as the reason for this blog is to bring together different view points, I will throw my two cents into the world and see where they fall. The quote is this: "The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be." Is this quote accurate? Is honor something that can be faked? Are we all pretenders acting out our lives in a way we think others want us to? As for me... I agree with this quote.

I live by a simple motto that has always struck me as true: "Be the hero of your own life, don't let someone else play that part." Be the hero... I like that, I like to think that I can be just like the heroes that I used to stay up late reading about in books. The hero who faced down any obstacle, rescued every damsel in distress, and made sure he always did the right thing no matter what the cost. As I grew up I realized that my world wasn't the same as the worlds in my books, my world had a lot more gray, and not as much black and white. Unlike the heroes of my bedtime stories I could be tempted to do the wrong thing, I could justify my actions and make it seem like the right thing. There wasn't anything inside of me that rejected the gray areas, I didn't have an inner compass that always pointed to the right path. I wasn't born with any of those things, so I did the next best thing, I created them.

I created within me the Hero that I always wanted to be, someone who never gave up in the face of insurmountable odds, someone who fought for what he believed in, and someone who would shed his own blood helping those that needed him most. I pretended to be that hero, and when I did it became easier to reject the things I knew were wrong, lessened the temptation to take the easy road, because that's not what heroes did. At first it was an act, but after awhile it became who I am, I no longer had to think of what the hero would do in any situation, I acted without thought, and without hesitation. I became who I pretended to be. Sadly I can't say I have never done anything that I knew was wrong, or that I never took the easy road, I can say that I am proud of the hero that I have become. I overcame my disability instead of using it as a crutch and an excuse. I spend my days helping those that need me most, I give my blood, sweat, and tears, (sometimes literally) fighting the battles that they can not.

Can we become that which we pretend to be? I say yes, yes we can. Pretend to be a better version of yourself, and before you know it you will have become that person that you always felt you could have been.

Troy

Man Vs. Moment

Is it possible to separate the man from the moment, or are they forever linked and inseparable? That is the question that has been going through my head the last few days. A few months ago Lance Armstrong admitted to using performance enhancing drugs while winning the Tour De France, this week Oscar Pistorius stands trial, accused of murdering his girlfriend. I rooted for these men to succeed, I was inspired by the obstacles they had overcome, and now I have to decide if that inspiration is tainted.

I have never cared about cycling, I don't even know how to ride a bike, so why would I want to watch hundreds of men peddle through the south of France? Lance Armstrong was why, I watched his story of overcoming testicular cancer that had spread to his brain and to his lungs. He was told by doctors that he had less than a 40% chance of survival, and yet he not only survived, he became a champion and started a foundation for others who fought cancer, how could I not have rooted for him?

Oscar Pistorius was born without a fibula in both legs, and at just 11 months old he had his legs amputated. That didn't stop him, he wanted to run, and with the help of prosthetics did just that, running so fast he won multiple medals at the paralympic games. Still he wanted more, he wanted to run against able bodied men, to compete against the very best. At first he was told no, told that a man without legs somehow had an advantage over a man blessed with two, but he fought on and in 2012 competed in the London Games as a representative of South Africa. He made it to the semi finals of the 400 meter before finishing last in his heat, but he finished. A man born without fibulas crossed the finish line in the Olympics. How could I have not rooted for him?

Scandal has now engulfed both of these men, but does it have to engulf me and my memories as well? My answer to this is no. This is the story of my life, and those moments aren't about them, but about how they changed me. I can take that moment and feeling of inspiration it gave me and use it whenever I need to. That moment and this moment are not linked by chains, but by simple string, string that I can cut at my choosing. Their future failures (alleged and admitted) can not take away from me. Those men are human, they can fail, be corrupted, or change... but those moments can not be changed for they are perfect. I am a better man for those moments, and nothing those men do, now or in the future, will change that simple truth. 

The ways we judge

There’s a boy at my school named Eli. He’s quiet and tall with bad asthma and a terrible stutter, and one of the first things he said to me was “The EpiPen is in the front pocket of my bag.” I’m not an easy person to make friends with, but we wound up eating lunch together every day and searching for two empty seats in our classes. A few weeks ago I told him something that I don’t trust everybody with, because I thought he deserved to know before our relationship went any farther. He hasn’t been able to look me in the eyes ever since.

At first I soothed the pain by laughing about it, and then by thinking up all the horrible things I would say to him if he ever tried to be my friend again. I wanted to tell him where to cram all his condescending pity, that stupid, bigoted, chauvinistic jerk!

And then I realized that all of that was exactly what I didn’t like in him—exactly what he’d done to me to hurt me in the first place. He had judged me, branded me, put his labels ahead of whatever friendship we might’ve had. It would be useless to retaliate by doing the same thing.

So today I wrapped the birthday present I’d bought him back before all this happened, two grass-colored notebooks with a sticky-note stashed inside that says "Because you told me your favorite color is green.”

Because you used to be my friend.

Because you made me smile when I was sad.

Because I cared for you once, and because I don't believe there's any such thing as falling out of love.

Because you brought me hope, and laughter, and frustration, and tears.

Because you are human, and I am human, and that is enough.


-Amanda

 

Expedition

I’ve been looking forward to a school snowshoeing expedition for the last couple weeks that would fall on my half birthday—a day off from school to get fresh air and play in the snow, and a way to mark the fact that in six months I will be eighteen.

But by the time our group rounded off the second mile, I was exhausted and cold, the two-pound metal shoes causing my feet to sink through the snow instead of walking on top of it.  I was barely keeping up at the back of the line when Mrs. Cavalero told us all to turn around and head back to the picnic area we’d passed an hour before, and as I hurried after the other kids I tripped and fell face-first into the snow.

One thing they don’t tell you about snowshoeing is that you can’t get back up on your own.  It’s like roller skating: your feet get all tangled up under you, and if someone else doesn’t come to your rescue you have to crawl over and hoist yourself up with a tree branch.  So I just laid in the snow, too tired to crawl away, feeling sorry for myself and thinking about how stupid I was to sign up for this.  I’m not athletic—I can barely walk to the store, let alone hike up a mountain with metal contraptions strapped to my feet.  I should have just stayed at home and worked on the pile of homework I already have.

When I finally got up onto my knees, I found two boys hurrying back towards me.  Josh and Darby, the two appointed pack leaders, had been racing each other all day in an attempt to be first, but they’d both come back to help me.  They pulled me to my feet, but when I stumbled again and landed back on my knees, they did more than just that.  They linked arms and carried me.

I don’t know how hard it is to carry someone while wearing snow shoes.  I can’t imagine it’s easy.  But they carried me halfway back to our lunch tables, and even when they put me down again they stayed there, putting out a hand whenever I missed a step.  They didn’t ask for anything in return, just conversation and an easy laugh when they broke out in a mini snowball fight.  And when I lent Darby a quarter to buy coffee, he gave me a high five and exclaimed, “I love people!”   

You know what, Darby? Me too.

Thank you for showing me what kind of person I should be.

-Amanda

The price of convictions

What matters is not the idea a man holds,

but the depth at which he holds it.

~Ezra Pound

The topic of convictions has been floating around in my head lately and I thought it might make a good topic. So here goes... How strongly do you hold onto your convictions? Is there a situation where it is ok to let go of what you believe in so that you can gain what you really want?

There have been two incidents in the news this week where people have let go of their long standing convictions and that has really bugged me. I might not always agree with what you believe in, but if you are willing to stand up for your beliefs and defend them I can at least respect you. In these two cases I can't give them any respect. For the change that they adopted didn't come about because after much soul searching they realized their beliefs were wrong, instead they traded what they believed in for money and power.

First news broke that after years of a zero tolerance policy the boy scouts of America were contemplating removing their ban on homosexual scouts and scout leaders. At first I was thrilled by this news, I have long been a proponent of gay rights and have felt that the boy scouts were wrong to ban gays, but then I read more into it and found the real reason they are considering this huge departure from their previously stated beliefs. Money. Turns out after the statement the boy scouts of America released last year reaffirming the ban on gay scouts and leaders, there was both a public and financial backlash, and while the public outcry didn't cause them to bat an eye, the financial hit did. According to several board members that spoke to NBC news on condition of anonymity, it was this loss of sponsors that has caused the boy scouts to reconsider. I find this sad, if you think gays should be allowed in the boy scouts because its the right thing to do, then do it for that reason and that reason alone. If they remain "morally opposed" to gays as they said last year, then keep the ban and damn the consequences. You don't get to do both, your convictions shouldn't be for sale.

The second incident was the republican party changing their stance on immigration. The party of giant boarder walls, minute men, and self deportation, is now talking about comprehensive immigration reform and allowing a path to citizenship. Again I love the outcome, I believe that we should have immigration reform, and that reform must include a path to citizenship, but I find it frustrating that after years of being against it, the republicans are for it, not because it is the right thing to do, but for power. Last weekend many republicans took to the airwaves talking about how they couldn't be a "stupid" party, how if they wanted to remain relevant as a party they must change. They talked about how Barack Obama won 7 of 10 votes from Latino voters, if a republican wants to become president they can't overcome those kinds of numbers. So poof now the republican party is for helping illegal immigrants become citizens, just like that. They are willing to sacrifice their ideals for a chance at power, but if you are given that power, without convictions, how can you govern fairly?

These are but two examples of something that I am sure happens a thousand times a day, these groups do not have a monopoly on this, they are simply the ones that sparked this thought. How? How is this possible? I can't do it that's for sure. I can't auction my values to the highest bidder, or pretend to not be who I have always been long enough to be voted into power. I will question my beliefs, I will seek out other points of view, and if in that soul searching I find that I am in the wrong, then and only then will I change. If you truly want to make a difference in this world you must stand for something, you must believe in it with everything you have. For if you don't, if your values are empty shells that can be filled on a whim, then you are truly lost and you have my pity.

Troy Mangum 

MLK

“Early morning, April 4
Shot rings out in the Memphis sky
Free at last, they took your life
They could not take your pride”

-“Pride (In the Name of Love) U2

I am delayed in writing about the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  On Monday I watched an African American man be sworn in as President for a second term, on Martin Luther King Day. How fitting and perfect.

“A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

DR. King died fighting for the right that all people should be treated equal. Have the same rights. Be treated with love and kindness. He fought for this with such passion and against such hatred. He died fighting for what was right.

If we all could take the same stance, fight for what’s right. Fight for EQUALITY. Make ourselves heard, this world would be a much better place.  

Thank you Dr. King, for your passionate fight, your strength and wisdom and the mark that you have left on this world.  

“In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” 
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Am I my brother's keeper?

"Am I my brother's keeper?"

Gen 4:9

This is the question that I am asking myself today... Do we have a responsibility to watch out for and care for one another? Or is the only obligation we truly have to ourselves?

Am I my brother's keeper? To me the only answer is yes. I say that with such conviction that is almost impossible for me to see any other answer as possible. We can not and should not stand alone, for no matter where we are in this life we have only succeeded because of others who were willing to help us along the way and a healthy dose of sheer luck. Sometimes we forget that, sometimes our successes are ours alone, and our setbacks are due to others. We forget the sacrifices our parents went through to ensure a better life for us, we forget the countless hands that guided us on the right path and kept us from falling. Without them would you be where you are today? Without them can you not picture yourself in a place where you might  need help, not because your lazy, or a bad person, or made bad choices, but just because no one was there when you needed that push.

The harder question I have is this: Can we force someone else to help? Can we make others do the right thing? As individuals: No I don't think we can, they have the right to choose just as I do, and while I might not respect their choice I will respect there right to make that choice. As groups and companies: Yes I think we can. The United States is a republic, a republic where the majority rules, but not at the expense of the minority. When the need arises to protect the minority the goverment has the moral authority to step in force the hand of those who are unwilling to help.

I truly believe that it is our moral duty to care for one another, to help those in need, for after all is said and done and we have left this life behind us, which will be more important to those we left behind, how much money we made, or how much help we gave to others. Money is finite, you can't take it with you when you go, but hope and love, that carries with us into the next great journey lighting our way to paradise. We all share this world, we are all connected, and we are all of us our brother's keeper.

Change

Ghandi told us to "Be the change you wish to see in the world," and I'm trying hard to live by that motto.  Unfortunately our country still suffers from inequality, and everywhere I go I still hear gay slurs and homophobic comments, even from people who don't intend to put such menace behind their words.  But that, to me, is not the problem.  The problem is when we send hate back to them, when we discriminate against them for discriminating against others.  It doesn't work like that.

We have to love, and love and love and love and love.  That's the only option.  That is the only way things will ever change.

Amanda

I have a dream

"We hold these truths to be self-evident,

That all men are created equal."

Tomorrow is a momentous day in the history of our nation. On the day we set aside to remember Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Barack Obama will be sworn in to begin his second term as president of the United States of America. So the question is... Has the dream that Martin Luther King Jr. fought and died for been realized? Are we truly one nation of equals, or is there still more work to be done?

For me this is a tough question, and the only way for me to answer it is to separate the cause that Dr. King fought for with his ultimate dream of equality. If I only look at the cause, then I would say yes, we have reached the goal set forth. While racism is still seen in some places and in some people, the vast majority of people truly do follow Dr. King's hope that we will judge not by the color of skin, but by the content of their character. Barack Obama is proof of that. A man born to a father from Kenya and a mother from Kansas grew up to hold the highest job in America. He won the presidency based on his ideas, and the hope that he gave to so many, not because of the color of his skin. I believe the cause of racial equality that Dr. King died for has been achieved.

But what about his dream? The dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal." Has this dream been achieved? I have to say sadly that it has not, for we are not a nation of equals, and will never be as long as our Homosexual brothers and sisters are kept separate and denied basic rights that the rest of us take for granted. The ways and means of the oppression has changed, but that does not make it better. Until we give everyone equality we will all continue to suffer, suffer because of the people we could be, the nation we could be, the species we could be, remains just beyond our grasp and remains an elusive dream. We can see that dream and we struggle each day to make it more of a reality, if not for us to enjoy, then at least for our children. One day we will make that dream come true. I hope I will be here to see it, to finally taste true freedom.

"And when that happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, Black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing words of the old Negro spiritual:

 Free at last! Free at Last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at Last!"

Troy

I stand for...

Troy way to start off with a musical lyric for inspiration! I like it.
The question seems easy enough, but the answer has been hard to come across. I've been hitting backspace for 10 minutes now. Time to just answer.
I stand for a lot of different things. What sticks out most for me right now is that I stand for honesty and truth, not only to others but to yourself. Sometimes it's hard to be honest about your opinions and thoughts on issues. Are people going to still like me? Will this piss them off? I have just recently been honest with people in what I believe with certain issues, I didn't get all positive responses but it feels so good. So freeing. Say what you believe in. Even if everyone around you is going to stare, laugh or scream. Be honest. Be respectful. Stand true to who you are what YOU believe in.  
Embrace it. Love it.

-Mandi aka Chewy

What do I stand for?

The moment we cease to hold each other,

the moment we break faith with one another,

the sea engulfs us and the light goes out.

-James Baldwin

 

This is a question I've asked myself a lot, and it's come up more and more the older I get. What do I stand for? When is it okay to laugh, and when do I have to speak my mind? How far am I willing to let people push me before I draw the line?

The answer, right now--the answers are always changing--is people. I believe in people. I believe in being gentle and honorable even when you aren’t treated with the gentleness or honor you deserve.  I believe in loving each other. I believe in being kind.   

At my school we're always searching for the capital T Truth, always arguing and debating about the differences in reality and morality and perception. Philosophers have done this for years. And I've decided that I don't want to be a philosopher: I already know my Truth. The world can be cold and uncaring, and for all we know we are the only life forms in a giant, cosmic universe that is big beyond our comprehending. We have no undeniable proof of heaven or hell or rebirth. It is possible that this single, tiny life, short in the scheme of our planet and miniscule in the scheme of the galaxy, is all we will ever have. And we need to hold on to each other, every other being that shares this rocky world, because it’s so easy to get lost in the odds that mount against us. We need to learn how to treat each other with kindness and gentleness, and maybe we can make this the Heaven we're all searching for.
 
Amanda

 

What do you stand for?

I'm still not sure what I stand for.

What do I stand for?

What do I stand for?

Most nights, I don't know anymore...

"Some nights" by Fun

What do you stand for? What is it that you fight for? What is it that drives you forward? That is todays question... In one or two words tell us what you stand for and why you fight for it.

For me I stand for Hope. Hope for others, hope for those who have given up on hope. I think hope is the most important thing there is, hope that tomorrow will be better than today, hope that if I can just make it over this hurdle it will be smooth sailing ahead. Without hope is depression, without hope we stop living and just survive.

I work with severly Autistic children, and I work so hard each day to give them a brighter future, and to return a little hope into their parents hearts. I often come home bleeding, and my body is covered in scars, but I am okay with that, it is a price I am willing to pay. Everytime I bleed I hope for myself that tomorrow will be better than today, (and that we didn't run out of bandaids yet) but I also hope for them, a hope that the pain and frustration that they feel each day is lessend, even a little bit, by my being in their lives. I return hope to the parents, hope that all the worst case scenarios that they have lived a million times in their heads might not come to pass. A hope that the mysteries that are locked behind thier child's eyes might one day be shared and understood.

Hope. If I stand for nothing else in this world that is enough. If that is to be my legacy, I can think of nothing else I would rather have it be.

Troy

A search for truth

I have always found it fascinating how so many truths that we hold so dear are so heavily influenced on our points of view. We tend to only look at the world through one pair of eyes, and so rarely do we take a step back and take a wider view, a view that just might encompass someone else's point of view. Well my goal is to try that very thing, to take all the different colors and send them back through the prism in the hope that the white light on the other side will contain truth, not just my truth or just your truth, but a little bit of all our truths.

So the experiment begins, anyone who would like to join is more than welcome, I want to see the world in as many colors as I can, there are however two rules. Rule #1 there are no wrong opinions, for they are your opinions, they are your truth, write what you believe in, not what you think others want to hear. Rule #2 No judging. This is a place where all opinions are welcome, you might not agree with them, but read them anyway. Take a moment to see the world through that lens for a few minutes. It might change your view point, and if so then you are better off then you were before you read it. It might reinforce your view point, and if so then once again you are better off than you were before you read it. You cant lose if you are willing to try. So adventure is out there, and here we go...